Reminder to self: it is easier to be sad than happy, easier to complain than to not, easier to tear down than to build up, easier to see the negative than the positive.
As humans it is easier to lean towards negativity than to lean the other way, towards positivity.
"Misery loves company." Start to complain about something and anyone around you will chime in with complaints of their own. Rarely does someone say anything in the other direction. Why is that? Well, for one, in that moment the complainers just want to complain. Second, doing so would be going against the grain and maybe even open one up to ridicule. Finally, it is easier to join in than to stand out.
The above is what came to mind after I ended a call with a friend. The last time we met was back in February. I had agreed to help him find a solution to meet a need in his business.
Months went by. Then in July, after having one to many Manhattans at my favorite hotel lounge, I texted him to say I'd have a few options emailed over to him the following week.
Months went by. I never emailed.
I was too in my head with everything else going on in my life. Too in my head about my future, how uncertain it was but how clearly I could see what I wanted it to be. Emotionally mute but raw on the inside. All self-confidence gone, eroded by the past 3 or so years.
I never emailed. I never called. I never said "I can't help right now."
He texted and asked me to call him the next day.
I called, not sure what to expect but I should have known. I wasn't expecting anything negative but was prepared for something along those lines (see the human condition in the section above), but he knows what I'm going through. Understands how paralyzing it is, and wasn't worried about me dropping the ball. He wants to add to the scope, add some other items to the mix, "Get to it when you feel like you are able to, no rush."
Grace.
Weird. But not weird. That's who he is. But I was being so hard on myself and I assumed he was thinking the same. But no. There was nothing to worry about in the first place.
Again, the human condition is to see the negative, even if it isn't there! It takes work but I believe it is possible to train our minds to acknowledge that yes, a negative outcome is possible, but to also recognize that it hasn't happened yet, and so a positive outcome is just as likely (maybe even more so!).
Choose to see the positive.